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8:03 PM - Friday, Mar. 23, 2018 I cant shake it. I try to distract myself from the feeling and sometimes it works. I stress over little things or worry I'm not a good mom. Those thoughts keep it at bay but today I'm just sad. I been feeling it so much today. I tried sleep it off now I'm trying to drink it away but all that of course is not working. My heart is so heavy with it I cant stop crying. I keep trying to ignore that I'm sad so its hitting me pretty hard today. I don't know how to be happy anymore. Everything I used to do that would make me feel something close to it I just cant seem to get interested in anymore. I hurt so badly. I cant stop blaming myself for being hurt either. I feel ignored. I feel like when I try to communicate how I feel I'm pushed aside. it started with the ex but now its almost everyone in my life. I feel like my family don't want me around. I keep to myself more and more pretend to be ok when I have to be around family. When asked how I am doing sometimes I want to cry a river but I know all they want to hear are the snappy comebacks and silly "you go girl" type shit. I guess the mask I wear is better then the real me crying all day.
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