6:35 AM - Thursday, Dec. 14, 2017
Worthy
Too much has happened for me to recap right now but I am still single but not yet divorced. I'm getting there though. I just need money.

That last sentence is the story of my life these days. And I truly hate working overtime for it. I resent money. Why has the Star Trek era of humanity not happened yet? Although I think you still used some sort of credit.

I need freedom! I'm living in a endless nightmare. I know its a bit dramatic but damn nothing has been going my way for years now. No amount of complaining or pep talks are making it better. My positivity is so low I cant believe its real. I have no energy no motivation. I have no idea where I want to be at this time in my life. I feel like everything is too unstable.

I'm a failure. I couldn't make my marriage work, my health is super bad, I'm going no where but down financially, I'm doing a pretty horrible job as a mom. I feel like a fucking overly emotional teenager hating life.

In my head I'm always like this. The bitching and the whining seem to never stop. I try to be positive. It works for a day or two but the I'm right back to the worrying, the bitching, the whining, and groaning. Its so much stress to deal with alone. I know I should rely on myself to get out of this funk. I'm just failing at everything.

At least my kids love me its all I need I just wanna make sure I'm worthy of it

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