9:23 PM - Tuesday, Feb. 09, 2016
Sticking to my guns
Life has been hell. The holidays wiped me out. I was in such a big financial hole in January I was not sure I was going to get out of it. Thankfully I was wrong and I am crawling out slowly. Its been a very painful rollercoaster ride to where I am now. The ex and I are on speaking terms maybe even better then we have been in a while. I think its because I have arrived at a point where his words are not hitting my heart anymore. My good ole heart has seen the light and just stopped listening. He has been coming around more and seeing the kids and he is making an effort to give monetarily but all his sappy "You're my heart's desire" stuff is falling on deaf ears.

Its said everything I had wanted him to say he is trying it out on me now that I told him I wanted a divorce. He cant understand why I ask him "Why are you so in love with me now?" I understand he now wants what he lost but I cant help but ask the question. Of course he cant really answer with out all the sappy love words but he thinks that's his way back in.

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