6:39 AM - Saturday, Mar. 07, 2015
last chance turning in to stupid bitch syndrome
Stupid b*tch syndrome= the little hope in your heart that things will turn around with no proof of it happening. The proof you do get is that NOTHING WILL CHANGE!

Yep that’s what I have and I’m trying to kill it. Not just ask my heart to let go I’m trying to kill the stupid b*tch within it for good. I don’t want her anymore she has done nothing for me but make me what I am a right now… a ranting stupid b*tch

I have just about reached my quota for all tolerance, patience, benefit of the doubt, etc etc etc.

I have waited with this stupid little b*tch in my heart for things to turn around. I have waited for just my simple requests for compromise and consideration to be met. You know what I have received in return? “I know it’s me and I will work on myself and I know I been a bad husband. So I’m going to sit and read the bible a few minutes a day so I can figure out how to be better.” So we are stating the obvious now? Only for him to still show selfishness and lack of concern for anything that does not deal with his need to “figure himself out.”

I could just scream right now.

I had a doc appointment a day ago. I came home a little tired but excited. I laid down on the bed my husband in his usual place… at the computer scrolling thru facebook. Only for him to turn to me and ask me why his phone charger was not plugged in. I told him I unplugged it to plug something else in. He started in about how only his stuff gets moved around or unplugged and how the charger had been unplugged for a longtime. The whole conversation was ridiculous since all he had to do was plug it back in. But his point was I should have put it back the way I found it. I was so mad all I could tell him was stop talking to me and how he could have just plugged in the charger. He didn’t even ask about the baby or the check up. By the time the conversation was over I didn’t volunteer the info either.

All that is just a small bit of the crap that I’m dealing with constantly. I have written letters telling him what I need out of the relationship. I have talked with him asking him what should we do to fix what’s not working. Unsurprisingly he can’t answer because he thought he was doing ok. I ask him what he thinks he should be doing in our relationship and what he thinks I should be doing in or relationship. Instead he goes on to talk about how he viewed his role as a husband as more “traditional” and now he has no idea what to do since he is not the “breadwinner”.

I’m just so tired of the bull. I have had enough of all these words with no freaking meaning. I haven’t heard anything I haven’t already heard before. His actions are showing me he expects me to fall for all this talk and start trying to make things better for him not WITH him. So now because I told myself I would not give up without giving a 100% I’m stuck listening to that stupid b*tch in my heart.

Thankfully though this last thing he did having no interest in our new baby has made the stupid little b*tch more hard to hear and I’m happy for that. Maybe his lack of interest will kill her for me.

previous - next