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9:57 AM - Thursday, Apr. 01, 2010 I have been going thru some hell with Alex lately. He is so clingy and needy. And on some levels I understand why but on others its like ok dont smother me. We have been going to counseling and I thought I was dong better about not being distant but for some reason it seems to be his favorite word to describe me lately. Its been making me feel like I'm not doing enough since it hurts a bit that all the things you are trying to do seem to fall short. So I have become more distant. I know I am and when I ask him how I can make it better he doesnt have any suggestions only that he knows I have been distant. Yesterday i decided I was going to go out with some friends from work. I spent all my vacation making sure he was ok because he had a back spasm and it lasted 4 days. When I tell him I'm going out he tells me i care more about my work friends then i do him. Then the rest of the day tells me how hurt he is. i confront him later in the day telling him how I feel While all this is going on I wonder how much more do I have to take? I go out get drink come him in the early hours of the morning. I get the cold shoulder only for later in the morning he texts me about how I broke his trust and his heart. He ranted about how he is convinced I was on a date or just doing God knows what. When I got these messages I just thought about how much I dont want this in my life anymore. I talked to this guy here at work about my troubles and he told me something I knew but of course never think about. He told me I needed to think about the end of the day and figure out if I can fix whats wrong will I still need to fix it again when we have the next fight? Its more like I have to figure out is this how I want things to be for the time I have this relationship and also I have to see what I am doing wrong too. It was crazy at first but it just started to make more and more sense as we talked about it. I feel more sure of what I need to do
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