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7:01 AM - Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2015
Remembered anger
Why is he so lucky to skirt responsibility? He is 40yrs old and he has none of the 6 kids he has fathered. All he has to do is go to work and come home. He probably sits and self medicates and plays video games or watch Netflix all day.

I can honestly say that I was jealous. I was working, doing overtime, coming home to make sure my kids were feed clothed and had anything else they needed. I was asking others what they needed I was going out there and getting it. The only time I would have to ask is if I forgot something. Then I got a short nap and I was back up and running around again.

I was never asking him about the kids cause he never knew. He never volunteered to go and get things for the kids. I ALWAYS had to remind him. He would sleep all day. Goodness how I envied that… I wanted to sleep all day. I wanted to have a day off and do nothing but watch Netflix or play video games.

I want to hate him for leaving me with all the responsibility. I want to hate him for leaving period! What a fracking jerk to leave me when he said he wouldn’t give up but he gave up the moment he accepted me throwing him out. Why didn’t he fracking fight? Isn’t that what not giving up means? The bastard broke my heart, feed my insecurities, and now I feel like a fool. I’m so damn angry!

I want to continue this childish vein of animosity but if I look on the flip side of it he will always miss the good stuff. He’ll miss the boys growing just like he is missing his other 4 children become awesome people. He will miss what he could have had with me if he just didn’t give up.

 

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