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4:42 PM - Saturday, Sept. 26, 2015 So I will be getting a divorce. Its scary but oh so necessary. I don't want him to be a role model for our kids hell if I had my way he would be a nobody to them but I don't believe in blocking him out IF he will be better about being a dad. Although once this divorce gets rolling I'm pretty sure I wont have to press him to keep out of their lives since he does it to his other children and I'm sure mine will be no different. This decision was not hard to come to but it's only in the in my head stages cuz of money. But I'm going to raise it. Next move is to get him to leave. That's the part I'm having trouble with not having him leave but telling him its over for good. I mean I been trying to get him to leave on his own telling him that our relationship is dead but that stupid bitch syndrome keeps trying to give him a chance on he jumps on it. I know I have no one to blame for that but me but I'm going to stand firm this last time. I want my life back. I'm tired of pretending. I have to give myself a bitchslap and stop trying to be nice get over what ever fear/stupidity that keeps this shitty cycle going and just give him the heave-ho. I WANT a LIFE with out him mucking it up!
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