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8:27 PM - Saturday, Aug. 06, 2011 I know there will be hard times but we have support of my family and friends. I have worried about my love life long enough. Not to say I wont be worrying about it more in the future but I wont ever let it get in the way of my life's goal. I opened my heart again and I was basically set aside AGAIN! Well I think I will just stay away. I have had enough of being "less" in someones life. I have had to wait for attention I have had to stand back until what he wanted happened. I have proven my worth only to have it not mean much of anything when I'm having issues or I need someone. And yet I keep trying to show respect, to show loyalty, to be helpful, to be understanding, to be compassionate. Mostly to show he was 1st in my life regardless of what was going on regardless of how many times he hurt me regardless of the times he let me down because his problems were more important. I dont think I have ever been this insecure in my life lol It makes me ashamed of how much its turned me into a loser. SO my life's goal is to make me and Daniel happy because I want my little boy to know that he never has to take being 2nd place to anyone he loves. He may not always have what he wants but as his mother I will always give him what he needs. I'm scared of not being able to provide for him but then I remember I'm freaking awesome and I know I will be able to get him what he needs no matter what. No more hoping that his dad will see what he is missing or even realize I'm around. Its time for me to just fade out of his life. It wont happen over night but since he wont fight for me then whats the point of giving him anymore of me.
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